it's hard to forgive.....

I had imsonia last nite....duno y....i din drink coffee...i tin i fall asleep at around 3++am...but woke up then slept again....was tired for sure after i woke up dis monin...but surprisingly i didn't feel sleepy at church n manage to stay energetic till i reached home at aound 5pm...
My eyes r quite painful now...
I cried dis monin when our pastor preached...I kept controlling myself but failed in d end...
I felt im reli sinned ... d preach today is about forgiving....
Some frens may know wad happened to me lately....n i feel difficult to forgive XXXXX....
i oways tin tad im very "yuan wang" for many times d.....
but i tin i should learn to forgive n forget.....it's still a thought in me only...when i gona act it....it's kinda difficult....
Especially someone i HATE for many years already....once ppl talk bout him i wil surely get "BU SHUANG"....coz there were deep hurt in me n i was being misunderstood n being cheated by those lies.....it's reli reli reli hard for me to forgive tad "SOMEONE" !!!!(although i noe i reli reli reli should learn to forgive n forget.....)
Perhaps tad's d worst memory during my secondary sch!!!!!
Till now...... many of my frens still believe tad "someone" ...For sure...I ever heard of those rumours oso...Few years ago, these made me cried reli badly n heavily everytime ....luckily some churchmates were willing to trust me tad time...but just a few....
hmm....now... let it b....though i will feel mad when i suddenly remember those tins....
for those who don't understand wad im talking about.....jz dun simply guess n create rumours....i reli hate it!
Learn to forgive....tad's a hard work.....@@